there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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