I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
worst night to have a conscience
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
