At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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