i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
