i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
