I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
fuck your aforementioned shoe
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
