I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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