There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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