why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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