How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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