MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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