used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
