He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
