He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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