it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Sorry my hands just texted you
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
