theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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