quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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