I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Randomize
