Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
