I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
