I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize