Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
