when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
