hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
