The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
