so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
