I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
