Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
