Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Randomize
