My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Randomize
