I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........