your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza