Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
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Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
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I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.