You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
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Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
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Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.