I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
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