Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
