somebody snuck up and got me drunk
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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