his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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