Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
