Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
