i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I just gift wrapped bread.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
