I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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