Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
We left an ass print on the piano.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
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