Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Randomize
