Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Randomize