i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
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