FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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