Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
only you would photoshop your dick
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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