Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize
