i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Randomize
