what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize