you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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