I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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