I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
