question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
