Are we in a gay sports bar?
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
