i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
