I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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