I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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