Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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