Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
