I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
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