Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
