what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
