Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
