we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
