I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
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