Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Then you guys just all showered together...?
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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