u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize