I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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